from ashes we rise

It has been a while, I know. Soul searching. It’s natural for writers to do this. Disappear. Vanish from the spaces our medium yields us in order to shed the layer of attachment to become new again. A new year does this to you. It christens me, baptizes me, enlightens me, except this time, I didn’t want to loose that renewal or have me burn out in a month or two without accomplishing even the tiniest of goals. So I ask, how does one stay the course? And the lesson I arrive at is courage. Having courage to push through is a lesson my best friend taught me last night. A friend, who amidst hurt and vulnerability, pushed through with courage, perseverance and great fighting spirit… the tenets she couldn’t recite, but which she demonstrated in front of me despite feeling herself defeated. As difficult as it was to watch, all I could see was my own friend rising from the pain with great courage in order to push through her own obstacle, to remain and finish until the end. Seeing this, seeing her stay the fight within her own ring, made me think of my own courage and how I needed to toughen up like she did in order to stay on my course. To persevere, to rise… to be absolutely courageous.

from ashes we rise,
don’t we?
or do we stay as ashes?
are we then happy to remain
where logs once were before
they were set on fire,
incinerated like illicit
bodies who worshiped
a different god from
you and i?
stand as i
reflect even when i fall
on my knees, even when
it hurts inside, i fight
through the covetous night
and shed this cowardly skin
to show what courage is

for SJP who showed me incredible courage TWD

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Be Brave About Us

There’s a path for all of us to follow and it’s been calling us all along. It’s right at the center of us. We must have felt it all our lives, but we continue to ignore it because we’ve been afraid. We’re afraid because it isn’t safe or we feel that there’s nothing to gain from it. The thing is, the more we ignore it, the more we have to loose from doing so. Who we are is that being we ignore, whether writer, artist, doll-maker, creator and when we don’t give it a chance to express her/himself, we die. Whatever this calling is… have the courage to give it a chance. Because nothing feels like anything can ever proceed right if we don’t take the chance. So give expression to that divine gift inside us. This is who we are after all and we all deserve a second chance. It’s never too late, if this is not far from your mind. If you recognize this about yourself today, seize your chance and begin immediately! For those who have answered their calling, then I applaud you because most of us haven’t been brave enough to do so. But it’s there, it is waiting for us to pick up, to speak and nurture. All we got to do is push through the fear and be brave about us.

brave me out
into this world
missing still one
other point of view,
my perspective—
me. who fears
herself unworthy,
hides behind the
fallacy, without
courage to seek
the truth. brave
me out for the
winds, the sun
and the rain;
wash me, baptize
me, christen me
once more with
the light of
Your rays and
ignite me with
passion and
wonder… to
discern the path
between my lack of
courage and brave

no fear

To have no fear. To be without fear. Why is it such a hard concept to grasp? What are the events in our lives that lead us to this place. What instilled fear in us? Is it to balance our character, pull us down a bit to make us humble? Or is it because of faithlessness, a deficit of light within? Whatever it is, we must extract this seed from within, forever expel it from our system so we may sow courage in its place.

how many times must i conclude,
end with a statement with both
fists in the air, willing myself
as i would like winds… unstoppable!
it’s all i ever wanted amidst this
dragon and dungeoned world, to escape
the fire and wander into the city
where loneliness finds me sat upon
a saddle galloping towards the sun
to harness what light I may extract
beyond the extension of its rays

-mr gahon 9/6/15

courage… bravery… perseverance

I’m remembering a boy who fought through nine surgeries and survived. On the tenth one, it seemed his body couldn’t take anymore complications. He was only eight months old. He departed from this world just yesternight.

I thought the Pacquiao – Mayweather match would be a great fight, but this boy showed us a greater, incredible fight without any training; he was equipped only with the courage already inside him. I remember him this evening and I am in awe at the gift he left behind. What courage, what bravery, what perseverance… if ever I wondered what these words really meant, with his will, this baby boy has defined it for me.

this almost lifeless body still fights…
don’t give up on me! though destiny is
not far from here, my journey only begins:
in dying, i revive you… courage, bravery,
all. what face i cannot push forth, i must
show through my will… please don’t
underestimate me, i am finishing something
incomplete— i may leave before my time, but
in the time you loved… i loved you more

© mr gahon 6/1/15

Beyond Exhaustion

This day has caught me beyond exhaustion. Wondering how the day would turn out and what is the next step after this? Here’s the thing… what I am learning is that when we let go, everything seems smoother. When we have the courage to allow God to take over, everything runs on autopilot. Our exhaustion is nothing more than a moment’s gasp for air and we recover so quickly that I wonder sometimes why we held our breaths in and worried so hard about it. This is what it means to have faith in ourselves and all that is happening in and around our lives. There’s a reason for what is happening right now. We just need to hang back and let it unfold before us.

life lead me to the mount,
raise me from this confusion–
this weary place where shoulders
weigh as burdensome as life can be
sometimes…

raise me above wonder
towards certainty of mind
where rests the god inside,
beyond exhaustion pushing
past the chaos to reveal the
righteousness of plan
rightfully meant for us

© mr gahon 12/1/14

Have Faith

How much faith do I have in myself? This is the question that I most often fail at because there is no real measure for it. I don’t really know how much faith I have until I see someone who doesn’t have faith at all. One who has been blessed with the talent to go full speed ahead, but is limited in their vision as to how to utilize their gift. It’s unfortunate and I’m almost saddened by it because talents multiply when we learn to let go and spread it in our immediate environment. The more positive it is the better because it catches on like fire. To make that kind of difference, even small increments can potentially create a spark in someone to lay down the seeds of change in this world. All it takes is faith… that belief in ourselves.

where faith lies ignites me,
raises me above the ignorance
that swallows me, tug at my
self-esteem and pulls
me deep into the chasm of
invariable disbelief–
the negativity of swollen chaos
devours me into shame,
chastises me, consumes me
until I am pushed into a corner
blind as the lies sprinkled
upon me like holy water
I drown inside this hollow
stillness… hopeless…
for where faith dies
(ultimately)
destroys me

© mr gahon 11/10/14

Courage

There are days when we can literally fill our head with burdensome thoughts that weigh us down. Paranoia can do that to us. The things we carry around with us that can paralyze us. And then there are those guilt-ridden thoughts, the mistakes we can never seem to overlook and forgive ourselves for… we wear this as though they are trending fashionably in our minds. We wear it well, even though the outcome is this cowering style we can’t seem to shake from our system. This is probably doubt we are hanging on to, that part of the imagination where we learned to anticipate the worst. Thus, we cower all on our own. How then do we counter this?

Recognition is the first part and, having done so, the other part is to do the best we can to handle the situation that instills the fear inside of us. By identifying and acknowledging the fear, we can proceed to try and let go… letting go of the outcome no matter how foolish we may seem. Knowing that there is plan for us, we can step out of that wire and let go, let God truly work in our lives. For once to trust and allow Him to catch us underneath when we fall…. this is the true fight, the path we must take towards courage.

give me courage
if not armor
for these doubts
wrapped round my head,
as they weigh me
heavy of darkness;
swollen headaches as
vast at night…
neither my stomach or
nerves dare trespass
into tranquility
as I shiver like
an addict in the middle
of July underneath
blankets and blankets
to keep warm against
my winter thoughts,
doubts about sun and
light at the end of
the tunnel. should
I catch the train
to see again into
day… promises and
new beginnings
like finish lines
I cannot cross? so
I wait for You behind
the yellow ribbon…
Give me hope and catch
me when I surrender
give myself over!

-mr gahon 4/14/14

Courage

Perhaps it is too early, perhaps it is too late… but the courage to act, to want, to like, to love is as close and near as our cellphone’s reach. And yet, far too much, we allow external influences to get in the way… the ambiguity, the insecurity, the testimony of others that is neither truthful or genuine.

And then once in a while, we witness someone shaking with nervousness, their voice fluctuating from low to high pitches and vice versa, all their vulnerabilities, their frailties laid out for everyone to see in a struggle to relay their truth before this world. An authenticity is unmasked and, for that mere second, we see not only the color, but how beautiful and empowering being courageous can be.

that courage intertwined in light
the fluidity of my strength that
cannot be deterred lies in Him
who gathers me in His hands when
fear spooks me and the ghost inside,
marred by inherent darkness and
culpable dreams… to learn more
of kindness, compassion, thoughtful
kisses given without much inquiry–
what power harnessed through this
contemplation, I share with you
in light of tomorrow, what courage
there is lies at the heart of you

-mr gahon 2/18/14

Fear

Never let fear seize the person you are, what you need to be. Even if everything comes around a second time, never let fear rise from your flesh and allow for a take over. For it is but a moment in passing, a part of our flesh, a part of our mortality, a part of our balance. Fear. Don’t let it, for a second, lead you into a maze of darkness and lock you up from prayers and deep meditation. Now is the time for faith. Fight it with faith.

And faith can only lead to the strength that is inside you. The true gift we are bequeathed with not only on nights when we fear, but everyday, every night. This is the gift alongside love and light and peace that is very much a part of who we are. They are all already inside each us. It comes down to turning on the switch and letting ourselves beam with serenity and courage.

Happy Holidays to all who visit this blog. Thank you to each one of you who take the time to read, to visit, glance the poems on this site. I am grateful…

the intelligence is the resurgence
everyday I succumb to this, unafraid,
unrated… I am the wonder kid
still holding on my own,
climbing to the top of the mountain
reaching for the skies–
I am unstoppable
even when I fear
I learn to adhere
to my Savior, my King
when I remember
and continue on to this cold December night
the light that shone once bright
outside my grandmother’s window
I remember briefly how I am commanded
from sleep to rise,
remember whose child I am–
and I am the wonder kid
one with that Light

-mr gahon 12/23/13